© 2018 Jules

My 16 Year Old Self Would Be Mortified

This morning at work I caught myself singing the Sesame Street song aloud. (This is my daughter’s current favorite.)

When I was 16, I was sure I was never going to get married. Then in college I was opening up to the idea of marriage, but I felt strongly I didn’t want children. Then at 22, I dreamed of living so simply that all my worldly possessions would fit into two suitcases. Then at 25, I loathed corporations and didn’t want to acquiesce to The Man.

Flash forward a decade and I am happily married with a 5 month old baby, a fantastic job with a Fortune 500 company and a lovely home, full of all my worldly possessions.

Reflecting now, I wonder what other firm beliefs I once held that have softened and morphed? I don’t have any desire to stay in youth hostels when traveling abroad anymore. My 25 year old self could drink me under the table these days. I no longer own a mini skirt. I haven’t left the country in years. I even shoot photographs using a digital SLR now.

Some things haven’t changed though. I still love dogs and always want to have one in my life. I still long to swim in the ocean and feel the waves carry me along. I still refuse to own a mini-van. I still kick ass on a wakeboard. I still say ass. I still don’t always abide by the posted speed limits. I still dislike Johnny Cash. (Gasp!)

Some of those old desires change into fuller expressions of life these days. I can’t wait for the next stamp on my passport, and it will be a joy to share Rome and London with my husband and daughter. When I want to look good I much prefer a pencil skirt so I can pick something up off the floor without risking my modesty. I am looking forward to teaching my daughter to drive a boat so she can pull me on the wakeboard! I still enjoy a nice cocktail and can even afford more than the cheapest bottle these days.

Life is a journey of change. The older I get, the more this rings true. (Sunny days, sweeping the clouds away…)

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